Along the lines of last
Along the lines of last nights entry... I was wondering how come I have no self love to spare. I mean I really have to dig for what I can muster up. My main focus lately has been to try and quit smoking more. I have discovered that I am not ready to give up smoking but I am aware of trying not to smoke any more than I am. I usually only have 3 a day. Sometimes 1. I guess that is something. Actually my real goal right now is my teeth. I have never been very good at brushing or flossing. I have insurance for the first time in about 7 years so I have endured two somewhat unpleasant visits to the dentists to have my teeth cleaned. They sure feel good. It has been a nice bonding experience with my son, he is 2. It makes me feel good on one level to instill at an early age the importance of cleaning one's teeth and it keeps me on track.
I have a trip planned to NY in the late fall. I have a goal to lose at least some weight by that trip. Not only do I feel more aware of myself as my other friends are all now thinner but the last trip I was acutely aware of my size at every step of the way. The plane ride, being snug on the subway. Having to squeeze into a car because of the mountains of snow and ice. And sitting at Level I, my back was sore, my circulation sad.
I received the first contact from my brother in months, other than one random letter that I received. Unfortunately for me he took after my father and is in the military. He is currently in Iraq. How bizarre! I am jealous of his sojourn to a far off land but I wouldn't trade him places for all the world. N, if you are reading this I think I may have told you he was in Iran in my email. Quick slip of the tired fingers.
I let myself go beyond my boundaries today. I actually was going to type that my son pushed me past my boundaries but I guess the brunt of it isn't his responsibilty. He dumped a bottle of water out right in front of me. I freaked, threw the container and thumped his head. What a ghastly feeling to see that look in his eyes and yet run to me for comfort.
Well this concludes another evening for me. I am going to read for a bit and hit the hay. Hasta la proxima!