life of uncertainty

Today starts Day 1 of my 30 day pledge not to spend my money on candy or soda. I didn't want to say that I wouldn't eat those things for the next 30 days because I have a lot of party type events going on this next month. We shall see how hard the 30 day no money event is. I realized last night that even if I only buy one can of soda or bag of M&M's a week at $.60 each that I spend $28.80 ayear on junk... And I know my average is much higher than that. That is 3 more movies a year that I could see. I am not even going to get into calculating the money I have spend on cigarettes... Which is far less then dedicated smokers but more then I care to realize. I am doing better at cutting down on how much I smoke during the week but I am still socially smoking on the weekends... Trying to change that as well. 17 Days until Nicole and Xan are here! Yippee!

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I really do love lists more than one might think. I certainly do not indulge in them as much as say... Elle or the girl. I keep verbal ones in my head but I never follow that extra step of writing them down and giving them substance. I like this list... I hope I have time to finish before leaving work or I may never get back to it. Copied from the girl Copy this whole list into your journal. Bold the things that you have in common with me. Whatever you don’t bold, replace with things about you. ——————————————- I like my car more than it probably deserves but it is reliable borders is better than barnes & noble. I love the scent of vanilla. I love pens Xander is one of the cutest people ever. I love it when I get some free time, with absolutely no obligation other than sitting and being alone in my own thoughts. I like making lists, mentally I sometimes like meeting people. I am glad to have a fresh start with someone I love very much. I wear one stud in my ear and a ring in my nose, the rest of my jewelry sits abandoned I hate driving at night in the rain. I work I am the oldest of six children. i have never been to china. Some of my favorite films are Harold and Maude, Dazed and Confused, The Big Chill, and When Harry Met Sally. I am blessedly good at most types of math but have little interest I am glad I have a job I don’t take vitamins. I’ve had surgery once. I wish it was easier to wash my son's hands more often. I love my family. I might want to be married someday. I have received some great dinosaurs for my collection from my dearest friends. I don’t sew. I love to read. My computer is well loved. I do not like tequilla and therefore do not drink marquaritas i have very dry skin this winter I somtimes enjoy keeping busy. I would enjoy a vacation to someplace warm. I like to people watch, and eavesdrop I think I have changed a lot throughout my life. (in some ways, anyway) Right now I should be leaving work I need to exercise more., understatement I was very disappointed with American Wedding I wish I had more time to cook. I prefer Yahoo! Messenger to MSN messenger or AIM. The walls of my bedroom are undecorated as of yet. I love to sleep. I love to eat. I would like to find a town or city to call home. I have one child. I don't know much about computer arts but would love to learn I hate my body i love my boy very much. When I dream they are usually outrageous I have a headache Soy yogurt with granola is excellent. i am terrible about returning phone calls. I would like to go to the Carribbean at some point. I wish I could have someone take a writing class for me so I could get my degree i hope i get a raise this year! I finished but I am late leaving work.

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Only 24 more days until Nicole and Xander arrive. Coincidentally Bill Cosby will also be in town that night... Just information one picks up while eavesdropping. I attempted to interest Elijah in writing Xander but he is only interested in his own name. I will have to show him Xander's recent school picture to spark his interest :) I made a few more attempts at clearing up the last of the boxes from the move last month. I really need some uninterrupted time with baskets, labels and whatever else needs done. I would like to actually put some things up that are decorative. I need to leave work but my banking software keeps erroring out... Bleck!

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It feels like years since I have done these... Kind of silly since it is about the only thing I have done on my blog since I moved. To play go --> Here

1. Berry:: Cherry
2. Fiendish:: Grinch
3. Bar:: Alcohol
4. Frank:: and Earnest
5. Bend:: Snap
6. Fanatic:: fan
7. Belch:: gross
8. Flagrant:: Dictionary, had to look it up
9. Burden:: Weight
10. Flimsy:: cheap

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Today officially starts the countdown until the visit from Nicole and Xander. I can hardly wait. 29 Days! Four weeks from tomorrow I will be on my way to PDX. Yippee! I think I am going to try to teach Elijah the other letters to Xander's name so he can make a sign or something. He already has the A and E down. I need to see your faces more than I can barely stand. I am really excited for Elijah as he is older, to start forging a relationship with Xander as well as Nicole.

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My brain is completely uncapable of functioning today after being off of work for the better part of 3 weeks. I thought spending two and a half days cooped up in my house was going to drive me crazy. What have I done? Exchanged it for spending 7 hours cooped up in a cubicle. I am having to will myself to stay in my chair and not wander around chit chatting. I will be counting down every one of the last 60 minutes until I am free. My body is crying out for physical activity, protein and sleep simultaneously.

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My best wishes to Elle and Hollee for the remainder of their pregnancies.

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This bad weather we are having is seriously impacting my work. I am already behind and now I am short hours on my paycheck too. It is irritating to know I am missing work because of a little bit of bad weather but our city is just not prepared for snow in any way. I keep telling myself I need to get back in the routine of working an extra Saturday a month or something but who wants to. I really don't like my job enough. I am almost to the point I want to start looking around again but I feel I should use the benefit of having my school paid for. School doesn't excite me right now either however.

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From LunaNina

1. Vintage:: Wine or cars
2. Longing:: Desire
3. Specimen:: Slide
4. Mock:: meat
5. Shit:: foul
6. Friday:: TGIF
7. Cruel:: Heartless
8. Insufficient:: Funds
9. Pessimistic:: Negative
10. Grin:: Smile

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Welcome to 2004... I actually had reason to write a check today. It was strange to print the start of a new year. I sent out a few quick emails to people I haven't spoken to in a while, people that I really think about often and want to know they are important to me. I am going on a date on Saturday night. In a good faith effort to see if we can repair our 6 year relationship my ex is taking me out on a date. My sister's laughed when they heard the news but as Scott explained we have never really been on one. He is fixing me dinner and has bought items to set a romantic mood. He talked to my parents and arranged to have a sitter for our son until the next day. I am a bit overwhelmed but at the same time I can feel my heart, body and mind coming alive with the affection and attention. I am excited. On a completely side note my body is rebelling and I am having an acne breakout quite like those of my teenage years. It is embarrassing for me. It also seems that I am being eaten by some sort of bugs. I can only guess fleas. Gross! Sorry, a rude departure I guess from the beginning of this entry. I thought I had more to say but I realize I am extremely tired and up much too late. I should be reporting to work in the am but I am going to play hookie. Adios-

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