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1. Divide your life into 13 chapters, giving each chapter a title.
Describe the essence of the events which occur within each chapter,
also noting what constitutes that chapter's beginning and ending.
This probably isn't as in depth as you were wanting but this is what I came up with :)
Chapter 1 would really be a preface titled The Golden Child I think this would be written by my mother with insights as to what married life was like and what it meant to her to be a mother for the first time. I really wish that my parents had age old friends. I think they were really happy then.
Chapter 2 - And then there were 3
These times are really unknown to me with the exception of pictures. I know we moved a lot and there were struggles but life had a lot of normalcies then as well. There was no schools to worry about changing. I was gaining siblings and yet as still quiet small. Again mostly just facts to recite since I have no real memories.
Chapter 3 - The Brady Bunch, oops! Well almost.
The Ruks clan grows to a full 8. Times have gotten harder. There are more children to care for. I don't really know my brothers and sisters as siblings but more as wards. Fondly recounts some of the trips to the hospital to visit mom and the new sibs
Chapter 4 - Eight is Enough
I recount in detail one of my earliest memories of my relationship with my mother. Melissa joined the family as the last of the six children. She arrived 2 days prior to my birthday. I was devastated as my mother remained in the hospital as I celebrated my eight year. I really wish I could remember more of those early years with my mother.
Chapter 5 - The Inner Workings of a 2nd Grader
I have this weird warped, vague memory of having a problem with my eyes one summer. I think I was around 7. In my recounting I remember waking up every night with my eyes caked shut. I would compare it to E's clogged tear ducts his first year. I remember feeling my way to the bathroom and putting warm compresses on my eyes until I could open them. I remember having a lot of feelings of guilt or something. There is this oppression of trying to keep a secret. Did I really go through this all on my own? I recall not playing outside at all because I didn't want people to ask me why one of my eyes was kind of droopy. Fact or Fiction? The stranger part is I have never asked my parents if they remember any of this :)
Chapter 6 - Other strangeness
Some of my other vague memories. Do I really remember my friend's brother Justin? dying when I was in first grade? Did I really have a weird interaction with other first graders my first time at Washington Elementary. Was I left to wander a large, separated school grounds when I was in the 3rd grade in California. All these tiny tidbits of memories.
Chapter 7 - Aunt Ruth
I find it pathetic and a bit aggrevating that my memories of my life start when life really started to be weird. Or maybe it was weird before... Who knows.
Mom goes to work, Aunt Ruth becomes babysitter. I develop relationship with 13 yr old next door, Stacy, I am 9. Jennifer learns about sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll. The big house on 4th Street. The boyfriend, Robert, who walks me home a few times. He wore a black jacket like the girl's beloved Jeff, with the little loops on the shoulders :)
Chapter 8 - Dark Secrets, Part I
Life before the diagnosis... I recall life being a bit normal when we first moved to 32nd. My parents made friends with neighbors. Slowly the fighting takes over, the blankets go over the windows. The house becomes a prison. I runaway. Dark times when my father is away.
Chapter 9 - Dark Secrets, Part II
The games begin. My mother goes through various doctor's trying to figure out what is going on. I remember the event that seems to have tripped the wire. My father is away at AT, Melissa I think is riding on the handlebars of a bicycle. She falls and tears up her face. The hospital is involved. I am not sure what happens next. My dad comes home, my mom stays at the hospital. Life trudges on.
Chapter 10 - AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! - Adolescence
As if the teenager hormones aren't enough. Word has spread through the neighborhood, their mom is crazy. I just want to be normal. From 6th grade when I can still have friends spend the night ending with 9th grade where I essentially have no friends.
Chapter 11 - Nicole
I met a 'bitch' in science class today! I am glad I have a science partner. I really hate school. I would have just sat there alone until the teacher made someone add me to their group. She seems a little weird :) I recount the first events of friendship, the overnight during Christmas break, celebrating Nicole's birthday with Tabby. The progression of a friendship and the next year or so of highschool life
Chapter 12 - So close but still not emancipated
Foster care, time with my parents, court. Adjusting to a whole family again. Eggshells hoping the fix this time is different.
Chapter 13 - In My Life, Parental Advisory
Graduation, Alex....
This final chapter ends up being a Choose Your Own Adventure gone horribly wrong?
Not that I live my life this way but of all the "what ifs" out there I really wonder how differently our lives would be today. But there is so much I wouldn't trade for. The sequel promises to me a much more serious, reflective read :)
2. Who are the men that you know personally that have most influenced
your life? How have they done so?
I think the men that have most influenced my life are my father, Ricardo, and Solomon.
My father has influenced my life in a couple of very notable ways. Most easily my love for music. My tastes far expand outside of my fathers but I love almost everything he does. And I definitely credit my love of rhythm to my father. How he loves his drum solos. My father also influenced my life early on my turning to me as his confidant. I cannot place exactly how that has shaped me but I know it has. In some negative ways I lost a lot of my childhood.
Ricardo has passed on to me a general love for knowledge. I have always been fond of the Spanish language and culture but he drove it home. He mesmerizes me with his retention of history, both his own and that he has learned from books. I didn't think the words for this would be so difficult. In ways the combination of Solomon and Rick symbolize a lot of who I would like to be, are the kind of men I hope Elijah will grow to be, and represent my ideal fantasies. Flawed but perfect in their own rights.
And for Solomon, well he is just my family and I know that has been one of the most positive experiences in my life.
3. What are some of things that have surprised you the most about
being a parent?
How absolutely hard it is. I mean whatever you think that might mean it is 100 times that. I am also amazed at how we are so programmed to believe this is what we are all here for. It is so very bizarre to find out how many parents feel like they are strange because they want time away from their children Or how their ability to cope only stretches as far as their own offspring. And I am amazed at how much comfort a 3 yr old can give. And the wisdom of the young. They are spell bounding.
Oh, yes, and I could never do what my mother did.
4. What would be your ideal living situation?
I am not sure exactly what is meant by this question...
I would love to live in Italy. I would like to live in a villa but not too horribly far from a larger city. I would love to have my friends family live with me if they please, in a compound maybe but definitely separate houses. I would like to have a vegetable garden. I would prefer not to have to work full time. I am not sure that I wish to be married but I would like to have my SO live near by so that we could cohabitate and yet have our own space. I would like to have a car but not need to drive it for day to day living.
5. Is there anything you feel is missing from your life? If so, what?
Yes, I feel things are missing from my life but I cannot verbalize them. I am missing a real sense of direction. There is definitely not enough music in my life.
RAQ's - Rarely Asked Questions
1. What is the “theme” on your calendar this year?
I do not have a calendar really, just a work calendar and the printed one each month from E's daycare
2. Do you read the newspaper every day?
No, in fact I try to avoid them.
3. What kind of shoes are you wearing right now?
None
4. What magazines do you subscribe to?
Parents is the only one currently, I believe.
5. What is your favorite condiment?
I am a fan of mustard as it comes in many varieties. I am not sure I would call it my favorite.
6. What was the first occupation you remember wanting to have?
I am sure there were others but nothing comes to mind. I wanted to be an accountant when I was in high school. I still don't have a firm grasp as to what occupation I would like to have.
7. Are you a green thumb?
nope
8. Did you have an imaginary friend when you were little?
Not that I recall
9. Do you floss regularly?
No
10. If you could still hang posters of celebrities on your walls and get away with it like when you were 12, who would be on your walls right now?
I would have up posters for movies that I love.
11. Do you keep shoe boxes or throw them away?
Reuse or recycle.
12. Would you be embarassed if someone looked under your bed?
Not at all, they would find all the posters for Question 10
13. If you could be one character in book, who would you be?
Not a clue.
14. What do you sleep in?
Either naked or in a tshirt and pj pants.
15. What is your favourite word?
Perhaps is one of my favourite words.
I am so damn ecstatic I could almost die. I finally remembered the link to get here.... Yeah!
I was very sad because I thought I had and then I couldn't remember. I was going to get down right angry.
Hello PMS! I am feeling it today. I feel very aware of something monumental about to happen and I don't mean that in a positive way. I am in a bad energy system right now and am being squashed!
I have a juice box to drink... Mixed Berry. It was discarded by E and it is missing a straw. I will have to carefully tackle it with scissors :|
I did something I do way to often last night. I stayed up way too late.
I finished watching Law and Order and got sucked into PBS' Independent Lens. Last night was a documentary called Love Inventory.
It was about an Israeli family coping with the loss of their parents and trying to find information out about a sibling that may or may not be living.
I was so touched by this film. The closeness of the family was wonderous. In one particular scene two of the brothers are hugging and sitting close with arms around one another. I cannot imagine ever seeing my brothers in a similar embrace... sad.
I cannot believe Elijah is three today! The time he was an infant seems so far away when I look backwards but so recent when I see pictures.
For some strange reason the year from 2 to 3 went kind of slow. I imagine it is due to all the changes we have undergone. Starting daycare, moving to a new house, living on our own, babies being born.
I certainly know I am more tired than I was 4 years ago :)
Solomon asked me if I asked myself what I did with all my spare time before Elijah. I guess the answer is no, I know what I did with it. I wasted it! I spent a lot of time just sitting around doing nothing. God that sounds like a great idea!