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November 30, 2004

Thankfulness

Thankfulness was the assignment for my monthly meeting in Dallas, my spiritual group.I thought about the items but never wrote any down, I think now would be proper.

*I am very thankful for this blog, it has become a good friend to my, of the Solomon variety. I know it is here, I miss it, I think about it often, it is always welcoming.

Thankful for my living space, in a way I hadn't realized before. It is mine (or as mine as renting is). I discard what I want and don't want.

Thankful for...
30 days without smoking
friends
blueberries

Thankful for family outings to breakfast so I can sample

Thankful for
wonderful friends
laughs at newly crawling babies
my joyous son

Thankful for family outings as grownups, almost hassle free
Thankful for beautiful friends that send me art by mail

Thankful for...
cold weather
work that is dependable
extra paydays
visitors from the East
the beach in winter
settlement in my parent's lives

Thankful for a moment awake in the night, to really cherish a warm arm around me

Thankful for...
the beautiful autumn colors
photography
the desire to try crafts
desert wines
Sex in the City
the family of deer that crossed my path this morning


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November 12, 2004

late night viewing

I have been having increasing difficulty sleeping lately, of the variety where I just keep staying up even though I know I should sleep. Last night was especially bad as I was channel surfing just to stay stimulated, and whether by twisted definition or not I was "rewarded" Jay Leno had Dana Carvey as a guest, takes me right back to the 8th grade staying up late to watch SNL. I laughed a lot. He was recounting a rafting trip he took with his 10 year old son. I found his fatherly sentiment touching in on bit "so did you enjoy your rafting trip? Oh, it was great, other than those moments under water when I had no idea where my 10 year old son was, other than that it ROCKED!" Jamie Oliver was another guest, I find him quite attractive. He was making lasagna. It was nice. I kept wondering how truely irritated he was that Jay kept mocking his British accent on words like pasta and tomato. CBS had the most enjoyable treat for me... Matthew Broderick as a guest with Letterman. It was quite attractive to see these two, cool, NY men talking about their children. And of course being currently in Sex in the City mode, wonderful to hear him talk about his adorable wife. It is hard for me to reconcile that Matthew is Ferris, he just seems so sophisticated. The Discovery Channel has a show called NOW (No Opportunity Wasted). It gives people an opportunity to pursue their dreams. They are given 3 days and $3000 and they have to do all the work, other than clearning their schedule which is done by family, friends and the producers. I have never watched it before. Last night there were two stories: 1. Jewish rapper wants to get signed, prove to his mother he isn't just fooling around, and his wife is being induced during the 3 day time period. The Jewish rapper was named Etan and almost missed his 3 day window to be by his wife's side during delivery(Right on!) 2. Man wants to help his wife be a musician. She moved from NY to Chicago and hasn't been playing anymore and he truely believes in her. They secure a large venue and few fans but you could see their love flowing. I felt in an odd way I was flooded with positive male energies. It was nice.
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November 07, 2004

Weekend

I did a marathon of errand running yesterday. It was a trying day to say the least.

Ryan was ever so thoughtful and volunteered to watch my son, along with his daughter so Elle and I could go to a movie. How great is that! And thankfully my son cooperated by falling asleep on the drive over there.

Elle and I saw Garden State I found it quiet delightful, wonderful soundtrack. And Miss Natalie Portman was in it. It is odd to see her as something other than a 12 yr old, smoking a cigarette, bloody nose, having a life conversation with Jean Reno.

I stayed up way to late drinking in more Sex and the City. I am trying to catch up to Elle and Ryan so we can enjoy the last few episodes together :)


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Halloween Night Dream

November 1st, early am.

Notable because I rarely have 'bad' dreams. Posted as I wrote it in my journal the following morning.

First alert of the dream is looking out a window at work (from upstairs). It is snowing. I am shocked to see the snow as it is October. I am elated because this means we will have to go home early. I look to the parking lot to see my parents' minivan. I head downstaris to talk w/ my family. We are waiting for David to come out of T Moblie (they are across the way from my work) We see him coming out of the lobby, he is limping and leaning on Scott for support.I am writing this the following morning so details are fuzzier now. In the next 'scene' my mother and I are visiting a storage unit, small brick buildings across the alley from my apartment. In the waking world these buildings are a bunch of small businesses.

We have a baby with us. I am not sure whether it is my baby although I am thinking that it is because I recall that I had the baby in my arms. There are two rooms, a door separating the two. We have the main door to the outside open. A man comes in and begins to take this stack of boxes. They are some sort of electonic gadget in small boxes (hubs, modems?) There are multiple piles of these boxes. I place myself in front of him, firmly asking him what he is doing. He ignores me and begins unwrapping the packages. I tell him that if he leaves quietly we will not report him but he keeps unwrapping. Then he gathers a stack and tries to leave. I block him with my body and am thrusting myself forward w/ the baby in my arms. He is dodging me but isn't really that threatening. (although after recounting this verbally I do really recall the gradual escalation of my body preparing for fight mode) At some point I realize that I am endangering the baby and give it to my mother. (the secondary person in all the phases of my dreams is always interacting with my verbally but stops being my mother after this next act, and never is any real support in the dream)

It becomes apparent he is not going to leave quietly so I back up to the door and close it. I begin digging in my bag, and clothing searching for my cell phone. At this he becomes agitated and comes at me w/ a hammer or some such tool. I pick up pliars or something similiar. It is like a light goes on in his eyes. He is delighted to see I think I can successfully brandish a 'weapon' It becomes quickly apparent that he is very skilled and I have no hope. I go back to trying to dial 911 and only using the pliars to block hits. The 911 calling is frantic and very intense. I have to hug the wall to get reception. I try speed dial but realize I have a # programmed. I don't get through successfully the first time so I think that I have to dial a 9 for an outside line first (I recall looking at my phone and seeing 9911 and being relieved) that doesn't work so I try again and connect.

The next frew parts are fuzzy. I think I possibly blocked myself into the small room with my mom and we waited. Time elapses and it is later that day and my mom is telling me that he ended up leaving without taking stuff or maybe he returned it when he was found so he has been released (this is more my mind trying to piece together what happened than a true recollection)

At this point my dream becomes interrupted by the snooze button on my alarm.

I am back in the storage area w/ someone. We are back to arranging the area and are talking about what happened. As we sit to talk I see out of the door, there are a series of hedges, square, trimmed, chest height, arranged in rows going as far as the eye can see.

I think I see the man but it is so far away so I go back to talking. In my mind I think that if it was him I will see him continuously approaching but I don't so I go back to talking/working. After awhile I see him climb another one, then disappear. Scene repeats, tension, acuteness of my senses, grasping more and more of his features as he gets closer. His face is more and more menacing as he gets closer. I want to run but don't, and then he is just gone. I am on pins and needles. The fear in my mind is that he will come to my house. My house is right across the alley and I can feel that there is something personal between us and am sure that he is watching me. I am afraid to leave the storage, I know that I need to capture this guy.

I lose all sense of who my companion is but I take comfort in knowing I am not alone.

As it moves to night we move into the small room. The dorr is solid and the window is very tall so we figure if he comes back he will break in the main door. We will hear it, we will call the police, and we are safe even if detected. It is very late, very dark. It is so quiet. I sense he is out there, we hear noices, we realize he is attempting to scale the wall. The dream is very ominous at this point, well truthfully it has been a very, tense, negative dream all along. He doesn't successfully get in but he wants in , and he is one of the darkest energies I can recall in my dreams that this point.


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November 04, 2004

So I Had a Dream

I had an intensely disturbing dream the other morning. I really want to blog it, I wrote it down in my dream book but I haven't thought to bring it to work and I haven't had the time at home to post.
Soon, I promise.


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November 02, 2004

Happy Birthday Dear Scorpios

Beautiful Elle, Dear Solomon, and Glorious Annalisa!

And to any other wonderful Scorpios out there that I have forgotten or haven't met yet.


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