Missing
I've been missing you! I want to write but I also am kind of enjoying this break from the heavy emotions. And now I am without internet for the forseeable future, how will I manage?
Today I experienced, for the 3rd time in a short number of weeks, the sudden sensation that my engagement/wedding ring was missing. This is extremely odd because I stopped wearing it very shortly after my world came crashing down. It was a bit to big, I played with it absent-mindedly and little miss was taking a fancy to it, everything about it a painful reminder of what I've lost.
I don't cry as much or as harshly as I did in the first few weeks. Each new let down is just another in a string of let downs. I'd like to say I'm less shocked by them now but I guess that isn't really the truth but something is different. I guess it is me.
Moving into a new place has finally put up a sturdy fence between what was and what is to come. I mourn what was often in all the daily reminders of my love lost. I don't know why I felt compelled to write this entry. Maybe just as a future glimpse into where I am today versus where I was 3 months ago?