I'm going to try something that I do not do often enough... pick myself up out of a bad mood. I see the doctor next week and I plan to bring this up with them as well. My per.iods after my 2nd child have just gotten unbearable. I feel like a black cloud is following me around for about 8 days. My mood is sour, my coping is down, my cravings are out of control. And don't get me started on cra.mps or bloo.d
Oh wait... I was getting OUT of a bad mood.
I'm very proud of myself! It has been almost 6 weeks since I stopped smoking. And let me tell you, Tuesday I had a hell of a day and it was interesting to catch myself in the moment where I realized that 2 devices I would have turned to were not options. So I did it, I let myself cry. Usually when something like that happens at work I let the tears stream down my face silently then I make my way to the restroom and breathe myself back together. And yes, I know that breathing is good in circumstances but not the short, stifling breaths one takes when attempting to hold back tears that once let go will go on endlessly. This time I went in the stall and wept into my hands. I could have cried more but what I released helped. That anyway, and crying to my sister and speaking my mind, even if it was to his stupid voicemail.
Next Tues will also mark 3 weeks since I vowed to give up soda. I folded yesterday. I've had 2 of these Izze drinks in the last 2 weeks. I even had one yesterday. After a long night of costume shopping and driving in the dark and rain I stole a few sips from my son. I'm not happy that I didn't make it the full 3 weeks but I am going to pat myself on the back anyway. I am not going to let that little daliance crush me. I will keep on the path. I am proud to say though that I have accomplished the additional part of that vow, to be mindful. I've made choices not to have soda. I've tried to give myself an excuse and then stood my ground. I've drank more milk and more water. I've made concious decisions to stop some less than perfect habits.
And I've said out loud... "Oh, last month I quit smoking!" or "I'm trying not to drink soda anymore"
My sister said if I was craving it so badly, as I was last Friday night with our pizza dinner, that I should have a diet. I refuse. I don't care for them. I know some are better than others and I do agree but I don't want to go down that path.
This time of year it is harder for me than others, the weather is changing, the temperature is dropping but I'm going to try and do my best. I'm going to try and enjoy my window seat at work, stealing glimpses of sun and changing leaves. I'm going to continue to try and make healthier choices and I'm going to work on being my own friend. I take a lot of abuse from the person that should love me most. I hope we both remember this next month ::wink::