Strength
I've been working on this entry for a while, trying to get it just so. Today however I ran across a family who lost 2 babies, one of which shared a name with my own daugther. Maybe the dam has been breaking for some time but seeing that name in print shattered me. It deeply saddens me to know that the list of parents mourning grows and grows.
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By way of my friend/midwife's site I stumbled into a community; a community of amazing power, love, strength, kinship. I'd like to take this opportunity to acknowledge and thank these amazing mothers and their children.
When I read "your" story of devastating loss I was overwhelmed. I cried for you. I wanted to take away your pain. I wanted to hug you close and ease some of any of it for you. I know now that you don't need me to take any of it away. You need me to acknowledge it, to let you grieve in your own way. The grief is part of your relationship with your child/children.
I know my words can't do justice to my own feelings, let alone all that is involved with losing a child.
Thank you for opening up to us. Letting us know what you need. Letting us know what wounds. Thank you for not holding back. Thank you for your anger, your laughter, your tears, your observastions. I've learned so much about my own attitude towards grief/death. I know I have become a better person by sharing in these small windows into your life/memories of your children, by learning from "do's and don't" you've communicated. I keep you and your angels tucked close to my heart. I'm not horribly well versed in the blog universe so I won't link to your sites or list your names without your permissions but please know I am thinking of you.
I've been going through a messy separation and for a time felt like my life was over. The perspective you've offered has awaken me, and in instances the beautiful stories of your own partnerships has given me hope for my own future. And above all I love my 2 children a little more openly, a little more graciously. I try to make the most of each and every moment with them. I will not take any of it for granted. I will bestow hugs and kisses as long as they'll let me, and then some.